A New Beginning

Sometimes I forget that each day is brand new - a blank canvas on which we can create whatever masterpiece we wish.  It's so easy to get caught up in things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things but seem really, really important at the time.

I need to figure out how to remember this and focus on making each day the best that I can.  Jim Elliot said "wherever you are, be all there"; and I need to remember that, too.  Often because of the previously mentioned "really, really important" things, I think back on certain times and realize that I was there, but I wasn't ALL there.  I was off in my own little world thinking about something I couldn't change or looking ahead to the future instead of enjoying the moment that was happening around me.

I'm on a journey right now.  Well, I guess we're all on a journey of one kind or another; but I'm on a journey of self-discovery.  I am a perfectionist.  And as a perfectionist, I expect everyone around me to adhere to the same rigid standards of perfectionism.  If I can't do something perfectly, I'm tempted to quit.  Add to that the feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy, and it's not a very good combination.

Thus the journey.  Earlier this year, I joined Weight Watchers for the second time.  The first time, I lost around 20 pounds and lost motivation.  Not so surprisingly, I couldn't do it perfectly so my ambition fizzled out.  This time around, my sister encouraged me to rejoin.  She had lost some weight, and it was encouraging to see her so excited.

I signed up in February (or thereabouts) and have lost 13 pounds, but I'm claiming the 16 pounds I had lost from before (with the few I gained back)!  I find that I am reminding myself often that every day is new.  I'll admit, I'm a little afraid of who I'll become.  I've always been overweight; and although I don't normally think of it this way, that's always defined who I am.  If I'm not overweight, I won't know who (or how) to be.  But I've come to the conclusion that I don't really know who I am anyway.

I'm learning to like myself more and redefine how I think about me.  And if I mess up or don't treat myself too nicely one day, I'll remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.